Remind Me to Thank John for a Lovely Weekend

In the News...
Guadalajara, Mexico -- An animatronic T-Rex robot was stolen from a museum on its opening day. The beast, described by the BBC as being "1.5 metres tall" (which I believe is equivalent to roughly ten stories) was stolen while the exhibit was in Mexico on spring break. No word on why anyone would steal a sizable, expensive, remote-controlled robotic dinosaur...oh wait, that's why. Who wouldn't want a remote controlled dinosaur? It's like an early 90's Radio Shack commercial wet dream.

Speaking of Radio Shack, does it even exist anymore? I digress.

I have my own theories about this "theft." Namely, that it wasn't a theft at all. We've all heard stories of Mexico and the strange tales of Ron Mexico and the kinds of kidnappings that happen there. This tragic tale is just another such story (that may, actually involve Ron Mexico) of spring break gone wrong. Nubile T-Rex Teens Gone Wild probably got a hold of the young T-Rex. Or perhaps Ron Mexico was starting up a T-Rex fighting ring south of the border. Or maybe the drug cartels took the T-Rex captive, forced it to eat a balloon and smuggle Vincente Fox into the United States on some crazy Jason Bourne-esque, amnesia-inducing mission to assassinate Lou Dobbs. There really is no telling what the actual fuck is going on with this story...or my brain for that matter. I suppose I should go back to writing papers for my finals. But I just can't concentrate with the thought that the Raptor Cage might be open too.