History One-Shots

Every once in a while I will be poking around Wikipedia and I will discover a day that is particularly eventful or just depressing. December 29 is one of those really, really depressing days.On this day in history...

...Thomas Becket was stabbed at Canterbury. I expect it went something like this.

Thomas Becket: Separation of church and state!
King Henry II: Nah. You're annoying. Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest, hint hint.
(At which point Becket is violently stabbed by four knights.)
King Henry II: Oh, I was just being facetious. You know, because I was annoyed. I didn't really mean for you to kill him except I totally did, nicely played.
All of Europe: Awkward....Texas was admitted as the 28th state.

President James K. Polk: We have to expand! I want all this land for meeeeeeee.
Abolitionists: Nah.
Mexico: So much nah.
Zachary Taylor: *dances across the Rio Grande*
Mexico: Fine, but you have to take Utah too, because we don't want anything to do with Mormons.
...the US military killed over 200 Lakota Indians at the Wounded Knee Massacre.

Member of the 7th Cavalry: These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for genocide and the gorilla is for shooting innocent women and children in the face and throwing their bodies in a mass grave.
...the Luftwaffe fire-bombed London in the Second Great Fire of London.

Really Old Historically Significant Buildings: *are destroyed*
History Majors: *weep openly*

A dark day, folks.