Reliving High School: La Catrina

There are certain joys that are shared by all high schoolers who took Spanish classes: Getting to pick your very own "Spanish name," being forced to speak exclusively in a language you barely comprehend, and end of the year parties where everyone brings nachos. However, there was one certain joy that not every high school Spanish student got to experience: La Catrina.La Catrina is a poorly-filmed, poorly-written, and poorly-acted educational telenovela (or soap opera). The multiple episodes followed the exploits of Jamie, an annoying and overeager recent high school grad who decides to spend her summer in Querétero, México, exploring the secrets of her father's family's past. Accompanying her is her gringo classmate Phillip, better known as Felipe, who has a horrible 90's bowl cut and a limited knowledge of the Spanish language. Upon arrival in México, Jamie discovers that there has been a HORRIBLE mix-up. The family she is supposed to stay with thought that she was a boy (because her name Jamie somewhat resembles the Spanish name Jaime, if you squint), and therefore would have to share a bedroom with their horny teenage son Carlos! Since this is unacceptable, Jamie instead stays with a friend of Carlos, María. However, they all become friends, and occasionally romantic rivals. Unnervingly friendly romantic rivals

Throughout her time in México, Jamie discovers that her great grandmother (known as La Catrina, or as Jamie says, La Catrinaaaaaaa, mi bisabuelaaaaaaa!) was a type of Mexican Revolution Robin Hood, stealing from the rich, giving to the poor, and wearing funny hats all the time. She then discovers that local politician Don Aguilar illegally owns the land that was willed to the descendants of La Catrina because of some screw up involving her will. A few love triangles, some complicated legal stuff, and a court date later, Jamie decides to donate her rightful land to Operación Aztlan, some sort of charity that tries to outlaw pesticides. Then Jamie goes back to LA, leaving a devastated (and still horny) Carlos behind.

Of course, there were various other stupid subplots, thrown in willy nilly in a sad attempt to teach students new vocab words. For example, Felipe gets a cold and has to try to explain his symptoms to a pharmacist! Jamie and Carlos buy produce! But by far the best pointless subplot ever is El Baile de Queso. I will let you see for yourselves:

For the non Spanish Speaking types among us, I would transcribe the dialogue, but frankly it is too boring. The basic gist is that Felipe, greasy bowl cut and all, goes to a club (la discoteca!) to meet María and her friend Susana. All of them are horribly dressed. They make some boring small talk and then Susana goes over to another table to hang out with her more attractive amigos. Then, the music changes, and all of the Mexicans in the club start dancing synchronistically! María asks Felipe to dance "El Baile de Queso" with her, but Felipe sheepishly reveals that he doesn't know how. María mocks him for his stupidity, then drags him onto the dance floor. What follows that exchange is a sad mixture of the Macarena and the Electric Slide.

So as you can see, La Catrina was a life-changing cultural experience that a small number of high school Spanish students got to share. Whenever I meet someone who took Spanish in high school, I immediately ask if they got to watch La Catrina. To those who answer "yes," I reminisce with them about Jamie's horrible fashion sense, the wooden dialogue, and El Baile de Queso. To those who answer "no," I simply tell them that they could never truly comprehend just how much they missed out on.