America's Obsession with the -gates

In the News...
We can trace it back to Watergate. It was with Nixon's paranoid break-in to his doomed rival's campaign headquarters that the unhealthy practice of turning "-gate" into a suffix denoting scandal, dirty tricks, and wrinkly old men was begun. We've had Spygate, Blogogate, Climategate, the would-be-funnier-if-it-weren't-true Fajitagate, the lolzy Hookergate (which actually doesn't involve any hookers), and even Baftagate, which revealed that the Baftas could only be made interesting by scandal and corruption. The limies can do it too. And how can we forget "Irangate?" A South Park episode managed to get itself a "-gate" branding for its "Trapped in the Closet" episode called, you guessed it, Closetgate.

And the "-gates" have only been getting worse, as Americans and British alike find any excuse to slap "-gate" on the end of any word to automatically make it salacious. In 2009 alone we already have "Goldgate" (An apparent scandal involving Glenn Beck's frequent promotion of gold on his show), the terribly-named "GateCrashersGate," the ever-lovely "GatesGate," and the British "Smeargate," which apparently involved tarnishing members of parliament.

We, as a society have a problem. It goes beyond our possession of 24-hour news and journalism majors coining cutesy phrases to make themselves feel better about their tarnished and worthless careers that could never hope to achieve the level of investigative reporting seen during the original "-gate." This goes to the core of our problem as a species: laziness. I know some may not like to hear it, but let's face facts here. This is just plain laziness. Maybe the first few were clever, and funny, but shit, once you have a scandal involving Jimmy Carter's brother Billy Carter called "Billygate," you know you've cashed in on being creative. Perhaps the media is just resting on its laurels and repeatedly reminding its audience that "once there were these two dudes investigated some shit, and there was a guy called deepthroat, and the media was able to shat all over Nixon's already dubious legacies!" And of course, the implication is that by uncovering scandals like "Plamegate" and slapping "-gate" on the end the media's still got it.

Well, media, I'm calling you out on a combination of laziness and sensationalism. Yellow journalism is back, baby.